The Unseen
by I don't quite remember
Summary: The war has begun, and the Headmaster has made Muggle Studies a required course. Severus is not happy. He hasn't met the teacher yet. -Slashless!- -Profanity-
1. Late Again

Prologue: Late Again

She felt increasingly unnerved and impatient as she approached the school's main entryway. _Note to self…_ she thought irritably, muttering a low string of obscenities at tinfoil on horseback– _never test a new broom directly before an important meeting_. Why she had listened to her foolish roommate then, she would never know – or have time to think about as she tripped on the final steps leading to the Great Hall, causing a loud tear to echo throughout the grand passageways behind.

"Ahh, bloody - _Vestimens Reparo_."

Now neat and tidy, she couldn't wait to get in to meet her fellow professors… if it meant getting out with greater haste.

* * *

The wards around the castle activated, alerting all Hogwart's professors of the arrival of a guest. Almost everyone on the grounds had already gathered in the Hall with time to spare – except, not surprisingly, one very unhappy Head of Slytherin House, who was preparing a fresh lesson plan for his sixth years. He'd ignored the polite dinging at first, startled from a cold yarrow infusion, but it had grown more persistent as he progressed through the polytricha shavings, the dried eximia, some rare Egyptian lotus, and a cup of black tea (which by this time he was nearly distracted enough to add to the mix instead of drink). The hapless Earl Grey was soon rendered undrinkable when Professor Snape's control snapped at the now-unbearable sound.

_Damn tourists, _he brooded, wringing his sleeve out crossly. _Why the Headmaster wants us all to meet the new brat, I shall never know. Muggle Studies and a Yank at a time like this…_

__

* * *

A.N. – polytricha and eximia are both mushrooms, Egyptian blue lotus have painkilling properties, and I like Earl Grey. Mm… Oh – and standard "I-don't-own-a-damn-thing-otherwise-I'd-be-in-Paris-doing-some-hella-shopping" disclaimer.


	2. How Does Barbie Survive?

Chapter 1: How Does Barbie Survive?

"Ah! Professor Gable!" the ancient Headmaster called, his voice carrying the full length of the hall to the young witch.

"Sorry I'm late – never was good with brooms," Talia Gable smiled apologetically, holding up the offending object. The golden-eyed woman on the left raised an eyebrow. "Did I miss anything?"

"Not a' tall, professor." The bun-wearing lady by the Headmaster stood to greet her. "It's good to see you've arrived safely."

The shaggy man behind them advanced quickly toward the new professor, ushering her toward the group with a burly hand. "Don' be shy now. Rubeus Hagrid, assistant Care of Magical Creatures – call me Hagrid – near ever'one does." He steered her now-unsteady form neatly before the Headmaster.

"Now, Hagrid..."

A large hand scratched the back of a bushy head of hair. "Sorry, Perfessor."

The Headmaster smiled, as did the new addition. _Damn, he's tall,_ she thought, looking back at her escort. _Ironic_, _considering the many jokes about my reaching only knee-height. _"Magical Creatures? Any manticores or hydra in the curriculum?"

"Good heavens, no!" gasped a tiny professor at a corner of the head table. "Far too dangerous for our students."

"But ye've got teh admit, the hippogriffs were fantastic!"

Talia smiled at the little man. _Finally! Someone who'll actually** stay **shorter than I am now!_ She turned back to Hagrid. "Tell me more about them sometime. I've got a book on Hippogriff psychology I think you'd like." She turned to the Headmaster. "You were most kind in sending me information regarding students and teaching staff. I've made a few preliminary lesson plans based on what you've sent me, and I'd like to discuss -"

"My dear girl, now is not the time for business!" the wizard waved Talia's words aside as he motioned her to the head table. "I'd like you to meet everyone before you add more paperwork to my desk!" A chair to the left of his glowed a shuddering blue as a sweep of his wand pulled it out for her.

"Very pleased to meet you, young lady," breathed the bespectacled woman she and Hagrid walked toward. The speaker extended a heavily braceleted hand.

"This is Professor Sibyll Trelawney, our Divination teacher."

"You'll be sitting next to me," she added, bangles dingling as she patted the tiny hand she was presented.

_Oh hell._ "I'm sure we'll have absolutely fabulous dinner conversations," Talia replied, struggling to keep the politeness in her voice. She smiled as she withdrew from the gentle grip.

"And me too!" offered the elfin man in the corner, edging forward.

"Yes..." Talia relaxed a bit at that, turning a smile to the voice. "Professor Flitwick, isn't it? Ravenclaw head, Charms department?" He beamed ear-to-ear. "Wonderful to meet you."

"Somebody's done her homework!" _For once,_ she mentally added. Her smiling face swiveled round to a lean, graying man who stepped quietly forward. "Remus Lupin, Defense Against the Dark Arts." He smiled, grasping the new professor's outstretched hand. _Whoa... the infamous werewolf..._ Something of her thoughts must have shown in her eyes, for he seemed to turn away with a gracious sort of haste. _You sure 'homework' was a good idea?_ She pushed a sudden rush of awkwardness viciously aside, running through the few remaining introductions as calmly as she could.

"Yes – I'm letting Hagrid assist with my younger students–"

"Never let that fool Lockhart near a broken bone –"

"The tower isn't free on Wednesdays, though–"

"Oh, where _is _he?" a frustrated Professor McGonagall groused after her greeting.

Talia looked up from an herb-stained hand. "Where is who, Professor?"

"Severus – sorry, dear – Professor Snape, Potions–"

"And Head of Slytherin. I'm not entirely surprised," Talia shrugged. _Another – pureblood – fan, _her thoughts spat._ Just bloody fabulous._

Professor McGonagall seemed to commiserate. "He can be insufferable sometimes," she told Talia softly, "but he's far from as bad as some of his students are. They're the ones to watch out for."

"Thanks for the warning." _I'll watch out for **him **anyway._

"You'll meet him soon enough, Professor Gable," the old wizard intoned sagely. "Oh – Professor Vector! Good of you to come," he called cheerfully to a red-faced, slightly breathless cloud of chalk dust. The professors took their seats: Talia followed suit. "Since there are so few of us here, I've asked the elves to accommodate a special welcome dinner – London Broil with Yorkshire Pudding," Dumbledore told his plate.

_Now **this** is worth staying for!_ "_Ton katsu_ with steamed rice and _yuzu _dipping sauce."

Hagrid clapped his hands eagerly together, the resulting boom echoing over the other professors' orders. "Extra-large Shepherd's Pie, Black Forest ale, an' treacle pudding for dessert an'... oh... what else..."

_If that man's eyes are larger than his plate, I'll eat my broom_, Talia thought with a smile. After a brief moment, she appended her order. "_Miso _soup, carrot-_daikon_ salad, and a poached pear for dessert."

* * *

A leisurely dinner passed all too quickly, and half-empty cups of coffee were soon the only tenants of the long table. The old wizard turned to the new professor as she mentally patted her stomach. "Now that you've met just about everyone, I'm sure you'd like to see your chambers."

Talia turned toward Headmaster Dumbledore with her first real smile in what seemed like ages. "That is the second most magnificent thing I've heard today."

Professor Lupin smiled dryly. "And what would the first be?"

"The first, well..." she replied, finishing with an apprehensive sigh. "It's going to take a while to get used to people calling me Professor." She stood and nodded a bow to the assembled staff of Hogwarts. "Thank you very much for allowing me to come here."

Headmaster Dumbledore nodded back. "Our pleasure, I assure you. Remus, would you kindly escort young Professor Gable to her quarters?"

"Certainly, sir." Talia couldn't help but notice the controlled unease in his voice. She flickered her eyes guiltily to the table as he stood.

"We've sent your pet upstairs to your chambers. Introduce us to him once you've settled in, won't you?" Dumbledore called.

"He'll be happy to meet everyone!" _Except maybe that... snake._ "I'll bring him along to breakfast tomorrow."

"Have you any bags for me to carry up?" He asked as they walked past the House tables.

"Not this time, thank you - " she found her second true smile that time – "because I've developed a wonderful way to pack for trips like this. Wonder what Professor McGonagall will think?" She picked up her broom and a black leather suitcase by the doors, closing the latter behind her. "I was hoping to present my lesson plans to everyone... uh, because some of them involve working in conjunction with other subjects." She broke off, rubbing her cheeks. _Damn, I think I pulled something with all that smiling._

A corner of the man's mouth twisted upwards at the movement. "Including mine?"

"Yep. Um..." she scratched the tip of her broom uneasily. "Is there any way to get them out in the open before classes start? I could really use some suggestions."

"Here, allow me - " Professor Lupin reached for the bag, but stopped when she flinched faintly. He straightened, looking somewhat pained.

Talia sighed. "Professor Lupin..." she stopped short when he turned back to her, his lean face masking a flash of annoyance. _Crap. What the hell do I say now? _She felt her eyes dart from side to side, finally stopping on her bag. "Um... thanks," she muttered shyly, offering him the suitcase, carefully watching his face.

It softened. She smiled in relief as he took the handle. "Would you like me to carry that as well?" he asked, nodding at her broom.

"Nah, I need something to twiddle." She spun it once, falling into step beside him. "Um... Professor - " Talia's voice trailed off as his gray gaze turned to her once more. "I... ah... I'm..."

"Remus."

She grinned. "Okay."

* * *

Back in the Great Hall, teachers were beginning to file out of the room just as Severus Snape swept in. _Oh dear. I seem to be late. What a shame._

"Severus, you missed meeting the new professor," breathed a swirl of fringed skirts as it passed.

"Really, Sibyll. I hadn't noticed," he retorted, rubbing idly at a tea-stained sleeve.

"Nice sort of lass," Hagrid called to him on his way out.

"She wanted to speak to everyone about her lesson plans. Perhaps you should speak to her during dinner," Dumbledore suggested, peering down his glasses at him as he, too, left. _Oh hell._ How did he make a grown man feel like a student that had been called to the Headmaster's office? Ignoring the feeling of being a prat, he decided on dinner in the dungeons – per usual. He left the room, extinguishing the lights as he went.

* * *

A.N. Standard disclaimer here.


	3. Wakey Wakey

Chapter 2: Wakey Wakey...

Shadows flitted across the walls of the mirrored room, eerily reflected in numerous surfaces. The redwood wand hung on the wall, abandoned and silent.

But not for much longer...

The wand shuddered. It rattled on its perch, faintly glowing as a shapeless cloud spewed from its tip. The cloud took on its dim light, intensifying it as if of its own accord, and took the shape of –

A lightbulb.

"Alright, alright, I'm up already! Yeesh!" Talia swatted her alarm clock irritably away. The bubble nearby seemed to snicker as the wand light went out.

A half-hour passed. Talia, awake, stretched and washed, riffled about her room for something to wear. The bubble took a wary peek from its calla-shaped perch, then darted into the lily's cup as a few scarves flew past. The dim rays of summer morning light filtered into her room, triggering thoughts of... _Mmm... Bacon... and steamed rice with fried eggs... and black te_

_a with lemon. _She paused._ I wonder what time that is._ She referred to the daily schedule she'd made up earlier.

_**Breakfast – 7 a.m.**_

She checked her wand – 7:05. "GYAAAH!" She ran for the door, forgetting the myriad results of her unpacking still lying about her room.

* * *

The ceiling graced the room with a warm golden light. Professor Snape had just finished his fifth cup of Earl Grey. He'd allowed himself an extra piece of toast this morning – something about that name struck a chord. A pensive Severus Snape let himself lean back in his chair. _Gable... Gable... where have I heard that name before? _

And then it hit him.

One problem with the Earl as a companion was that damn influence on his bladder.

* * *

_7:15 a.m._

After hastily tossing her bedclothes more or less into place, Talia had dashed to the Great Hall, nervously tugging a tiny down feather out of her hair. Good thing Peeves had been looking for an early morning food fight or she'd never have found the place. She got there just in time to catch a very surly-looking silhouette sweeping away down another hallway, and spared a moment to admire the flowing material of – _his? _– dark robes_. Oh well – no time to think of that now._ Talia slipped through the closing doors into an empty dining hall. Puzzled, she dug into her sleeves and slipped out another schedule Professor McGonagall sent her.

_**Breakfast – 8 a.m.**_

_**During all school days.**_

"Well, doesn't it bloody figure." She shrugged, slipping onto a bench at one of the student tables when a chair at the head table cleared its throat loudly. _Oh – oh yeah._ She slipped into the seat labeled for her. A plateful of bacon, eggs and toast appeared before her, followed closely by a goblet of pumpkin juice. _Two outta four... ah well._ She leaned an elbow on the table, idly sipping at the goblet.

"_Eew... Maaaa!"_

"_Now, drink it up – it's good for you."_

_Samantha Gable smirked a tiny big-sister smirk behind her mug of milk. "Hear that, brat?"_

"_Sit up straight, Sam."_

"_But it's all – lumpy – and stuff!"_

_Alcea Gable gave her youngest daughter her best motherly glare. "Your sister made it for all of us. Drink it."_

_Grumbling something that sounded awfully like 'coulda done better,' Talia braced herself before gulping down the glass she'd been handed. Her eyes were so tightly shut she didn't see her elder sister watch her expectantly behind her slowly disappearing milk._

_Talia set the glass down quickly, a splash landing on her oatmeal. (Okay, so it tastes good. Doesn't mean I'll tell her – it's still wayyy too lumpy.) She frowned as she set herself to separating the orange chunk from her breakfast. Eyes crumpling in defeat, Samantha stood and fled the room with a quick "See ya."_

_Their mother turned briefly from the lunches she was making, tossing her eldest a finished one in a red tin. "Until later, dear – and don't forget your lab goggles. Well," she turned to the guinea pig. "How was it?"_

_After popping the orange lump into her mouth, Talia flashed a quick grin at her mother. "Not bad."_

Talia had tilted the goblet nearly vertical before she'd realized it was empty. Slightly disappointed, she looked at her plate. She'd managed to clear that too. _How many refills have I gone through?_

__

* * *

__

"Gah." Breakfast had been long since digested by the time Talia Gable next entered her rooms. She breathlessly turned to the bubble, which had been dithering happily by the window. _'Guh-good to see you again.'_

_'You too... what happened?'_

_'General map of Hogwarts interior.' _She thunked down onto the bed.

_'Done.' _

_'Onscreen, Cale.' _A popply snicker, and a glowing network of lines appeared in midair. _'Thank you – now superimpose it on the memory of my wild ride through the halls, please?' _

_'Ah, I see.' _The bubble neared, and the little blue fish within seemed to consider its human's condition. _'Do you need-'_

_'Not yet, thanks. Just the image for now.' _Talia growled in frustration. _'My kingdom – such as it is – for a Smash-Peeves spell.' _She cracked her back and replayed the morning's run with distaste.

"_Dammit, Peeves –"_

"_Weeny baby girly prof, had a bit too much taken off!" Playback-Peeves zipped through the halls with unholy glee, looping back now and then to catch the new teacher unawares on a loose carpet._

"_THAT DOES IT -" The image pulled her skirts back into place. "YOU ARE DEAD, F-" she corrected herself hastily – "SUCKER!"_

_Hold – back it up a bit – so that's the library. _Talia rubbed a sore elbow unhappily. _Two bruises down and a little to the left. Go on. _

_Tape-Talia ran down the stairway past the fruit still life, through many a darkening hallway. She grimaced in cold as she ran through Peeves, who had stopped short after rounding a sharp corner... into the dungeons._

"_NYAAH!" taunted the poltergeist, who made to flee toward the courtyard stairs._

_Talia stopped abruptly, causing her robes to spring and seethe wildly around her. She whipped out her wand, careless of the creaky door opening behind her. "Disera Risonorate!"_

_Silence. _

_After a puzzled pause, Peeves attempted another slur at Hogwarts' newest addition... who smiled as her spell took effect, as each bit of spite echoed for his ears only. He clapped his hands over them, now shrieking in silent terror, mutely zigzagging from wall to wall through the dungeon._

_Talia laughed in grim amusement as she walked upstairs alone._

_'Okay, so it wasn't a Smash-Peeves spell,' _she grinned evilly at her fish, _'but it'll do.' _

__

* * *

__

Severus Snape shut his office door very carefully as the girl left, knuckles white at the handle. _Oh damn..._

__

* * *

A.N. di SE ra ri SO no ra TE. (Amendment: 9/28/04 - Sorry to remove the note on the spell's effect; I changed it slightly, and you'll see it again in a future chapter. It's a lot more painful now - in the psychological sense - and works better within the story, so stay tuned!)

Anyway, I don't own a thing, yada. So, Madam R and owners of anything else I make references to can look to someone else to sue.


	4. Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Chapter 3: Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Professor Remus Lupin rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly, yawning and scratching his ear. He picked up his discarded robe from the corner, dusting it off before hanging it away and looking at the rest of his robes. _Hm. Black with black stitches, black with grey stitches, or black with blue stitches. Quite the difficult decision, isn't it?_ The August sun had finally begun to trickle into the room, revealing the place where a weary wolf once passed the night. He pulled on a pair of trousers, thinking _wonder if Professor Gable's had lunch yet? It should be about time._ He slipped into a fresh robe as he opened the door.

* * *

A half-hour had passed since Talia returned from breakfast. Bruised but calmer, she riffled about her office, finishing her unpacking. The bubble took a wary peek from another calla-shaped perch, then darted into the lily's cup as a few books flew past. The brilliant rays of late morning light filtered into the room, triggering thoughts of... _Mmm... Chicken Alfredo... and crusty bread with balsamic vinegar and olive oil... and – uh, whatever kinda white wine that goes good with that sorta thing. _She paused._ I wonder what time that is._ She referred once more to the daily schedule Professor McGonagall had sent her.

_Lunch – 12 p.m._

She checked her wand – 12:05. "GRAAAH!" She ran for the door, forgetting the myriad results of her unpacking still flying around her office.

* * *

Remus Lupin hardly expected Professor Gable's door to fly open before his upraised hand. He certainly didn't expect Professor Gable's beaded shawl to fly at him... or her embroidered fans... or her windowsill herb garden...

"_Finite Incantatem!_ – Oh crap – Professor – uh, Remus – are you alright?" She caught her cilantro before they could fall at his feet. "Oy! I wasn't expecting to pull some mudslinging this soon - " she broke off, snickering at her fellow teacher's bewildered face peeking cautiously from behind her chives.

"Is it safe to come out yet?" he cringed, shielding himself with the edge of the shawl that had draped quite neatly around his head.

"Yeah, unless you count some pissed-off porcelain," she glanced apologetically at several very angry figurines. "_Meteloci._" The statuettes neatly arranged themselves on a shelf by the door (a sheathed sword rapped itself sharply on her forehead along the way), the herbs floated back to their sunny spot, and the shawl disengaged itself from the professor in favor of the back of her chair. The bubble, meanwhile, emitted a popply snicker.

"What _was_ that?"

"A mass mobilizing spell – part of my unpacking process. Sorry to make you a casualty."

He waved it off. "I've had far worse. Are you ready for lunch?" A grumble just behind her bellybutton chose the perfect moment to make itself known. "I presume that's a yes." He gestured for her to move ahead.

"Thank you very much." She moved to meet his pace, then stopped just short of the door – "I forgot my aloe-" she stuck her wand back into the room and lowered a final pot back to the windowsill. The bubble scrambled out of the way, irritated at being ignored.

* * *

"Headmaster Dumbledore mentioned you had a pet."

"Oh yeah – Cale!" Talia smiled affectionately. "A sweetheart and damn useful little guy. Um." Her grin faded. "I forgot him upstairs, didn't I?"

A cold dripple on her nape told her otherwise. _Yes you did. _

"And it should've stayed that way. Would you _stop _doing that, you stupid fish!"

_**'I'm **stupid?' _Cale responded with a jet of water aimed neatly at her forehead, to which Talia returned a slap upside the bubble.

Professor Lupin snickered as his two companions squirted and walloped on their way into the Great Hall.

* * *

Curried chicken and vegetables over rice made a pleasant lunch that day. "How did you come by him? If you don't mind my asking," he added when her eyes flickered suddenly towards him.

Talia shook her head and hoped her smile didn't falter. "My sister was working with mermen in Singapore when she got this nutjob fish." She held up a goblet of water, watching as the bubble sipped up its contents delicately. "To look at him, he's probably related to betta, but that's as far as the link goes."

_'Excuse me? The tail. The gills. The kick-ass fighting technique handed down from father to egg. How am I **not** related?' _

_'Hmm. Does the fact that you can talk count?' _

"Er-hem."

She turned back to Remus at that, finding him discreetly rubbing behind an ear. "Sorry. I forget we tend to get that sharp when speaking to each other." He nodded around a bite of carrot.

"So what about you?" _Should be a safe topic, right?_ "Any pets?"

"I had a – dog... once." The briefest of lumps bobbed in Remus' throat as he spoke. "Lost him pretty recently."

"I'm sorry." _Damn, girl – you really can pick 'em, can't ya, _Talia's mind scolded wryly. "How long had you had him?"

"Since I studied here."

"They let you keep a dog?"

"He was big enough and fierce enough to handle a dragon, much less me, and he was one of my closest friends. They all kept me – in... ahem – line." He reined himself in carefully as he realized his blunder.

"I should have figured." At Remus' puzzled look, she clarified. "Wolves do best in packs. You must have been quite a dog lover before the bite. Gah!" Talia's dinner companion choked on the drink he was currently taking, baffling and worrying her into hasty, awkward motion.

"It's – cough – alright, real– hack – really." His face was completely flushed as he tried desperately to catch his breath... but the look in his eyes suggested another cause for his redness.

Her fading worry was strong enough to hold back a laugh. "...You do know I only meant that you owned a lot of dogs?"

He smiled faintly as he scrubbed the remnants of lunch from his lips, relieved that she hadn't entirely caught on to his train of thought. "Care for a guided tour? I'm sorry I didn't get to it earlier."

Fish and human turned to face each other, and snickered. '_Another one?' _

'_Hey, so long as the guide isn't Peeves or Snake-boy, it's peachy.' _Talia stood, stepping aside as her companion pushed her chair in for her. "Sounds fine to me," she smiled gleefully.

* * *

A cold whistle of air rushed past the two professors as they neared the hospital wing. They looked up to find Peeves trying in vain to ram his head into several walls, mouth open in a grotesque scream as each one reminded him of his incorporeity.

"What's wrong with him? He's been unusually quiet since breakfast."

Remus Lupin thought he caught a hint of an odd smile over her shrug. "I wouldn't know."

* * *

billiejoe – Yes, I'm quite aware that Professor Snape's not the only pureblood teacher. Talia has a problem specifically with purebloods who make a big deal of it to the extent that some Dark Wizards (and their fans, hence her comment in Chapter 1) are famed for doing. By the time this chapter is up, I'll have rephrased the wording of her anti-pureblood sentiment, but keep her pet peeve in mind.

Add a disclaimer and bake at 350 F for twenty minutes, or until the top is golden brown and crispy.


End file.
